Somewhere I Belong
by failuretoact
Summary: An extension of 358 1/2 days, arranged to Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong. Rokushi.


**Finally. I get the gumption to write a one-shot. I prefer to write chapter stories, but inspiration for this hit me with a backhand. I had no trouble belting this out. I have not played 358 ½ days myself, but I know the gist of the story. So don't depress me by pointing out incorrect events, because this is most certainly AU.**

Somewhere I Belong

When this began

I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

My beginning was confusing. Heartless, but able to think? No way. Not possible. I didn't say a word for at least a week. I didn't think. I numbly did what I was told. Even now, sometimes, while attempting to fake emotions, I get that empty feeling. Axel said all nobodies get that feeling. I guess it's because we don't have hearts.

I was confused

And I let it all out to find

That I'm not the only person with these things in mind.

Only a couple of weeks after I was taken in, she showed up. Xion. Took me a week to get her talking. Once I did, our larger conversations invariably turned toward being nobodies. How can we think without feeling emotions? Our conversations were very deep for two teenagers.

Inside of me

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

These conversations always left me in confusion. I always felt—I suppose the word would be happier?—when I was with her, and more hollow inside when she was away. But I'm a nobody. I'm not supposed to have feelings—right?

Nothing to lose

Just stuck, hollow and alone

and the fault is my own

and the fault is my own

The first time she collapsed, I abandoned the mission and rushed her back to the castle. Saix, as dispassionate as always, betrayed no hint of care, and simply made me return her to her room. So I did. The hollow feeling that I got when I was alone was crushing then. Axel tried to distract me, but I refused to be misdirected. I blamed myself, so I decided that I would stay beside her as long as I could.

And I've got nothing to say

I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face.

I came back from a mission one day to find Xion, awake and happy (or faking happiness? I don't know…). I was speechless. I had this really warm feeling inside me the rest of the day. She made me uphold the daily routine of ice cream on the clock tower, regardless of my protests.

I was confused

Looking everywhere only to find

That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.

She's collapsing regularly now. Our talks that used to be relatively light hearted are now very serious. I've started to wonder if the heart is really the seat of all emotion—because I don't have a heart, but I know I feel… SOMETHING around Xion. I don't know what to call it yet. Maybe I'll ask Axel…

So what am I?

What do I have but negativity?

'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.

Axel told me the emotions I was "feeling" (he was very sarcastic at this point) is called love, but scoffed at me when I told him that I felt it. He told me I was overthinking things. I'm really confused now. I'm having emotions, but I'm a nobody. Or am I? I have feelings… And I don't appreciate the looks I'm getting from the others. Why are they staring…?

Nothing to lose

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

The fault is my own

Xion's been having trouble doing the simple things now. She's been very upset lately, and seems depressed. (Depressed? How can she be depressed? She's not supposed to have feelings either…) She's talking less now than she did her first week. Is this my fault…? I'd ask her about it, but I doubt she'd answer. Is she "feeling" now too?

I want to heal

I want to feel what I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

Erase all the pain till it's gone.

I was sitting on the clock tower. Xion, as normal, was late. Axel wasn't there at all. Xion, when she showed up, she talked about how she should not exist. How she needs to return to Sora. Who is Sora? I didn't care. I wasn't going to let her end herself. We fought. I won. She started to fade. Crystallize. I felt horrible. I caused this. "Who will I share my ice cream with?" I vaguely remember saying that. But I meant so much more. I discovered how to feel through her. I discovered what a schoolboy crush feels like. As she finished crystallizing, I tried to say something. Something that she needed to hear. "Xion, I…" She shushed me. "All the hearts that I imprisoned… please free them." With that, she faded. I felt a huge sense of loss. I steeled myself, and went to attempt an attack on the incomplete Kingdom Hearts.

I want to heal.

I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

Now I'm feeling pain, as Riku (How do I know his name?) slashes me with his keyblade. On my way to Kingdom Hearts, he had intercepted me. He is by no means weak, but I've had the upper hand the entire battle. I remember the conversation we had moments ago.

"Why! Why do you care so much?!"

"I know how to feel now! If I can free those hearts, then I can bring back Xion!"

Riku, who had been reasonably calm before, was enraged now. "Neither of you belong here, though!"

I'd heard this before. "Then where do we belong?!"

Riku rose up into the air and said, "You belong with Sora."

I will never know myself

Until I do this on my own.

I wake up in Twilight town, with only hazy memories. I go through a week before I regain my memories. Suddenly, I feel the need to visit the mansion. In the basement, Axel, on the orders of Organization XIII, attacks me. He's trying to bring me back. He seems regretful, albeit in an Axelish way. I do beat him, but it's not an easy fight. Otherwise, the basement is empty.

And I will never feel

Anything else until my wounds are healed

I go upstairs. Namine is waiting for me. (Another person who I don't know, but whose name I DO know. Am I crazy?)

"Roxas, Riku was right. You need to rejoin Sora."

I hear the truth in the words that I refuse to accept. "But what about Xion?"

Namine looks genuinely concerned for me. But I am resolute in my standing. "She's a part of Sora too. It's possible you'll find her there."

"But… it won't be real."

Namine smiles. "Roxas… it'll be real to you, and Xion too, if she's there."

I look up with a grimace. "I don't have another option here, do I?"

Her grin fades. "I'm sorry, but… no, you don't. It'll all be better in the end, you'll see."

I sigh, talking in the fact that my existence is coming to an end. I would smile, if I could, but I can't. I'm scared. My fading will be equivalent to... well… death.

I will never be

Anything 'till I break away from me

I'm fading. A see a white light engulf me. I accept that I had peaked in my potential as a being outside of Sora. And I hate it.

And I will break away

I'll find myself today

Fading… Slowly. It feels good, like falling asleep. But I'm not sure what waits for me after I fade completely. But I'll know soon. Soon…

I want to heal

I want to feel like I'm

Somewhere I belong

I'm lying on something. Feels rough… sandy. Yeah, sandy would be the word. Like a beach… now that I think about it, I can hear waves. I open my eyes. The land slopes away to both sides, taken by the waves. Destiny Islands… that's what Sora's inner consciousness takes the shape of. Then I hear something else. A voice. One that I've been wanting to hear again for a while.

"Roxas!"

I only have time to register the voice before I'm engulfed in a full-on tackle hug. I chuckle. Being a part of Sora has changed her very little.

"Xion…"

"Hmm?" She looks up at me almost teasingly.

"I—"

But I don't have time to finish. Xion's pressed her lips against mine. It's very teasing. Moments later, she's up and running. I sit at the edge of the surf for a few more moments, dumbfounded. Then I realize what she's doing. I'm running now too, rapidly gaining on her. I feel content here, with Xion. I know that I'm finally somewhere I belong…

Somewhere I Belong


End file.
